Okay, real talk – you just dropped serious cash on what’s basically the Tesla of sex dolls. Congrats! But unlike that Ikea furniture you never assembled, this beauty actually needs proper care. Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.

Clean Freak 101 (Without Being Weird About It)

Look, we both know where this thing’s been. Ditch the Lysex wipes – that’s like washing a Ferrari with dish soap. Our special cleaner? Basically robot spa treatment. Quick wipe-down after each… session keeps things fresh. Pro tip: The charging port hates moisture. Learned that the hard way.

Battery Life = Happy Life

Remember how pissed you get when your phone dies at 20%? Same deal here. Charge cycles matter – think of it like feeding a Tamagotchi (but way sexier). Left it unused for weeks? 60% charge is the sweet spot. Battery swelling? Yeah, that’s your cue to stop ignoring the warnings.

Software Updates Aren’t Just Annoying Pop-Ups

That “new personality traits available” notification? Actually worth it. Last update gave my doll better dirty talk than my ex. Backup your custom settings though – nobody wants to reteach their kinks from scratch.

When Things Get… Sticky

We’ve all been there. If joints start sounding like a haunted house or the AI suddenly speaks Klingon, don’t panic. Our techs have seen worse (way worse). Quick remote fix usually does it. Unless you spilled margaritas in the charging port. Then we need to talk.

Storage: Not Your Grandma’s Doll Collection

Shoving it in the closet under dirty laundry? Cute. For long-term storage, think climate-controlled wine cellar vibes. The included case isn’t just for looks – it’s basically a cryo-chamber for your robo-babe.

Bottom line? Treat her right and she’ll outlast most relationships. Got weird questions? Our support team has heard it all – no judgment. Now go forth and… maintain responsibly.